From Sunday Life

According to the experts, tantrums mostly occur between the ages of two and four, when a toddler can't properly articulate feelings such as frustration and anger and can't differentiate between needs and wants. It's a tad difficult, however, to keep all this in mind when a little person is throwing themselves into a wild fit of rage in the middle of aisle seven on a Monday afternoon at Coles.

There's plenty of advice around on tantrums, including making minimal eye contact, speaking in a low, calm voice and doing your best to get you and the kid out of public view ASAP. It's important not to fight fire with fire by yelling or threatening. Instead, try to plan ahead. If a restaurant is a habitual place of temper tantrums, talk about it beforehand, as if you are making a verbal contract. For example, "We know that we can behave in restaurants, right?"

Choose your battles. If a kid throws a category five over a ribbon, let her have it. But it's best not to give in to major stuff – like a seatbelt – if you can help it. Encourage talking: "I know you're angry now, so tell me, using words, what exactly the matter is." Which, again, can be difficult if someone has dirtied their nappy in frustration.

These directions are all aimed at toddlers. If an adult verbally attacks you, throws something or even raises their voice, there is only one mode of recourse: leave the room immediately and don't return until they have calmed down. They may not know the difference between needs and wants, but you sure do, right?

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